


Until I know Me

by Lizzieboo182



Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Memory Loss, loving, sad bucky, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 09:52:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13385325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzieboo182/pseuds/Lizzieboo182
Summary: Bucky still doesn't remember much about who he is, Steve is there for him when he's breaking, maybe putting a bit too much pressure on the poor boy to be who he was.





	Until I know Me

**Author's Note:**

> just a little in advance, thanks everyone for reading and dealing with this lol. more fics to come soon. Also forgive me for any errors, its been literally ages since I've written anything at all.

A rich musky cologne, gun powder and sweat. Thats what he smelled like, and now Steve remembered. It all flashed back to him, those times where all he could do during the war was curl into Bucky's side at night. That was the only way he could stay grounded with what was constantly on his shoulders -ahem, besides the obvious shield. 

 

There was more that was coming back to him, the feeling of Bucky curling around him the best he could, though he'd never be able to tuck Stevie under his chin and hide him away from the world again. He was too damn big now. But Bucky made do, nuzzling his face into the back of Steves neck, keeping a strong arm around him, protectively in a way.   
No. The Blonde knew none of this mattered anymore, he could see it in Bucky's eyes. He didn't remember those things, he didn't remember protecting his little punk, the boy who couldn't figure out quite why he was doing it in the first place.   
Maybe he would remember one day, he kept thinking that. But his Bucky was here with him, and that was more than he could have hoped for anymore. He thought he was gone, he thought he had lost him forever and he had tried his best to cope with that. But here he was, alive and in Steve's arms again. 

Looking down between them from where he was pressed against Steve, Bucky sighs. He felt so many emotions, the primary being guilt. He felt guilty for not being able to be the man that Steve knew; brave, calm, strong and confident. A protector... thats what Bucky was for him, but Steve didn't need that now. He knew that. Even if he was that man, Steve didn't need him to be that anymore. 

 

Worry pressing into Steve's mind as he watched the soldier in his arms become more and more tense, he sighs and finally speaks. "Hey... Somethin' on your mind, pal?"   
All Bucky could do was nod, pressing his face into the tshirt clad chest in front of him that he had ducked into, taking a deep breath of what he knew was pure Steve. It Calmed him, the mans scent. He knew it... even if he didn't remember memorizing it in the first place. 

 

"I... I'm not him, Steve..." The words that came out of Bucky's mouth sounded strained, as if he struggled to even form them in a thought process, let alone actually utter them out loud.   
Steve felt his chest tighten with pain and guilt, knowing he had put this pressure on the man the be someone he wasn't sure even existed anymore. "Hey... You're you. Thats all I care about, thats all I'm here for okay? Whoever you are Buck, I'm always going to be in your corner here with you. Nothings going to change that." He put his hand on Bucky's face gently as he spoke, being careful not to frighten him. 

 

As he lifted his head, Bucky's eyes were shining with the forming of tears and he felt a lump in his throat forming right along with them. "You... You said you loved me" The shaking man said, his eyes meeting Steve's to search for something, a place where he could fit himself and stay forever; even when he didn't know who he was. 

 

"I do love you, Buck. " Steve nods, brushing his thumb along his cheek in the softest pressure he could muster. He loved Bucky more than he could ever explain, he was his best friend. But he was also more than that. He was the very reason Steve continued on everyday, held himself up and kept fighting for what he thought was right. He was his Reason. 

"Keep loving me, until I know me?" Bucky's words fell from his lips almost breathlessly, a tear falling down his cheek that he wipes away quickly, brow furrowing in frustration from how vulnerable he was. 

"I'll never stop loving you, Buck. I couldn't even if I tried." Steve replies, pressing a soft kiss to where Bucky's brows were creasing. " I'm here, and I always will be."

Something flashed in Bucky's eyes then, and he chuckled a tiny but, looking up at the beautiful man in front of him, settling closer as he reached up to hold Steve's hand to his cheek, leaning into it a bit like a big cat before mumbling with a soft smile "Till the end of then line."


End file.
